


want you more than a melody

by darthswift13



Series: Classical Music AUs [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Classical Music, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Orchestra, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Epistolary, Eventual Smut, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Getting Back Together, Kid Fic, Mentions of childhood abandonment, Pregnancy, Social Media AU, Textfic, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27080458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthswift13/pseuds/darthswift13
Summary: Cellist Ben Solo and flutist Rey Johnson met in college and fell in love. Rey became pregnant early in the relationship and assumed Ben would freak out about having a child together so soon, so she broke things off, leaving him heartbroken and unaware that he was about to be a father. Almost seven years later, Rey gets into the New York Philharmonic. What happens when she discovers that Ben is in the orchestra, too?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Classical Music AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976920
Comments: 32
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The moodboard is by the amazing [Lena!](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first moodboard was made by my lovely friend [Debbie](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre) and the second was made by the amazing [Lena!](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore)

  


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🎶 **Meet Rey Johnson, our favourite flautist & mum**❤️

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**🎶Meet Ben Solo, our favorite cellist ❤️**

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**🎶Meet Rey’s best friends & fellow Julliard alums, Kaydel & Jannah❤️**

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**🎶Meet Ben's best friends** 🎻❤️


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Content warning:** Unplanned pregnancy
> 
> Also, the concept of an unsent text message that I used in this chapter (and a few other times in this fic) is something that my friend Debbie came up with in her fic, [ "Galaxy Wars"](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre/status/1214219679201402880), which you should totally check out! Credit goes to her for coming up with that concept as a plot device<3

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**PROLOGUE: SEVEN YEARS EARLIER**

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**What Rey wants to say:**

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**What she actually says:**

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	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

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**A couple days later, Rey’s folder goes missing and Ben ends up finding it...I wonder how that happened?**

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It’s not fair that someone can be _that_ handsome, Rey thinks to herself. The years have been _more_ than kind to Ben, and she hates that he still takes her breath away even after all this time. His eyes are still that same rich shade of hazel, a warm brown flecked with gold and the tiniest hint of green. And he’s looking at her like he did back then, too, with that same intense adoration that scared her to death and made her fall head over heels in love with him.

He’s so _tall_ , she had almost forgotten how tall he is, and _God,_ he’s gotten so muscular in the time they’ve been apart. His well-tailored button-down white shirt only serves to further emphasize the muscular expanse of his chest. And was it _really_ _necessary_ for him to have his sleeves rolled up to his elbows like that? Because now she is staring at his perfectly sculpted forearms.

“Rey?” she hears him saying, snapping her out of her reverie. Had she just been standing there ogling him? _He has a girlfriend, you idiot,_ she scolds herself. And besides, nothing could ever happen between them again anyway, not now, not after everything that’s happened. 

She never should have agreed to get coffee with him in the first place. 

“Ah right, sorry, zoned out there for a bit, I’m just not awake yet—I’m useless before I’ve had my tea in the morning,” she nervously attempts to explain. 

And then he _smiles_ at her and she practically melts into the floor.

This meeting was a very, _very_ bad idea.

“So I remember,” he says softly. “Do you still take your tea with just a splash of skim milk and two sugars?”

Yes, this meeting is definitely the single worst idea she’s ever had in her life.

“Um,” she stammers awkwardly, “Yeah, I do,” she mutters.

She decides she won’t ask him if he still orders an iced Americano with a pump of hazelnut flavour.

And when he orders exactly that, she is once again reminded that this was an absolutely _terrible_ idea.

🎶🎶🎶

They awkwardly make their way to a table, and when they sit down, Ben retrieves her music folder from his briefcase.

“Thought you might want this back,” he says with a smile. And then, mortifyingly and inexplicably, she _blushes._

“Uh, right, thanks,” Rey mutters under her breath as she quickly snatches the folder from him and shoves it into her bag.

“Anyway,” he continues, “It’s so good to see you Rey, you have no id—”

Just then, Rey’s phone starts buzzing. She quickly pulls it out of her pocket and sees that it’s Emily’s school calling.

“Shit, sorry, I have to take this, I’ll be right back,” Rey says before quickly scrambling to a quiet corner that she hopes is out of earshot.

“Yes, hi, this is Emily’s mother. A fever? How high? Oh, that’s very concerning, do I need to take her to the hospital? Only if it stays at 102 or above for more than two days, got it. Alright, thank you. I’ll be right there.”

She hurries back to the table and quickly collects her purse. Ben stands up, his features scrunched up in concern.

“Rey, I’m sorry I couldn’t help but overhear—is your daughter okay? Do you need anything?”

And if she wasn’t sure meeting up with him was a bad idea before, she’s absolutely _certain_ of it now. 

“No that’s...that’s okay, I just...I just need to go, Ben,” she says hurriedly, avoiding his gaze.

“Right. Of course,” he says quietly, his voice distant and small. 

He watches her leave, and it’s only then that everything crashes over him at once, and he’s never felt stupider in his life. 


	4. Chapter 4

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	5. Chapter 5

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When Ben arrives in the rehearsal room with his cello case in one hand and a tray of Starbucks drinks in the other, Rey is already set up in front of her music stand, warming up with some basic scales.

There’s something utterly transfixing about watching her play, the way her small fingers dance across the keys, the way her head bobs slightly to the rhythm of the music. And even though she is just warming up, she plays her flute _beautifully_ . The sound is transfixing. Her hair is tousled, thrown in a messy bun, her appearance indicative of someone who has been hard at work. But above all Ben is just struck by how she is always so heart-stoppingly, _impossibly_ beautiful. 

She’s so intently focused that she doesn’t even seem to realize he’s standing in the doorway. He doesn’t want to interrupt, but he also doesn’t want to seem like a creep standing there watching her warm up, though he would gladly watch her play for hours. 

When he steps into the brightly lit rehearsal room, his footfalls echo against the glistening light colored wood floors, and Rey jumps, slightly startled.

“Oh,” she says, turning around, “Hi. You um—you startled me.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to.”  
  


There’s an awkward, tense silence. Rey darts her eyes to the floor. 

“You sounded beautiful,” Ben offers.

“Oh—I was just warming up,” Rey explains, and if Ben didn’t know better, he would almost swear she was _blushing_. Maybe the room is too warm for her, he reasons. 

“Still,” he says, “I missed hearing you play.”

“Oh, um —” Rey starts to say, looking away as she sets her flute down on her music stand, and then her eyes dart to the tray of Starbucks drinks he’s carrying. “Did you bring all of those for yourself?” she asks with a bemused half-smile, tilting her head slightly. 

“Oh—no—er—I, um, I stopped by Starbucks to pick up a coffee for myself, and I figured since we’re rehearsing today I should bring something for you and Armie, too,” Ben replies with a shrug.

“Oh, um—that was, um—that was very thoughtful of you,” Rey replies with a polite smile as she stands up and walks toward Ben. 

🎶🎶🎶

Just as Rey reaches for the cup with a tea bag hanging out of it, Ben reaches for the cup at the same moment, and their hands brush. They freeze for a moment and hold each other’s gaze. Rey feels her breathing quickening and electricity blossoming where his fingers are lightly resting against the back of her hand.

“Thank you, for um, for the tea,” Rey says softly, her voice nearly a whisper.

“Of course,” Ben replies softly, a gentle smile peeking across his lips, his warm hazel eyes soft and adoring, and oh how she _melts_ when he looks at her like _that._

She bites back a smile as she looks up at him, acutely aware of his hand resting on top of hers and she _knows_ she should pull it away, knows she should look away and go back to her music stand and continue warming up. But she feels frozen, glued to this moment, suddenly feeling like she’s back at Juilliard and she is 21-years-old and a cello major named Benjamin Solo is her entire world.

“Rey, I—” Ben starts to say, his voice a gentle murmur as his eyes scan her face, but he is interrupted by the sound of Armie entering the rehearsal hall.

Rey clears her throat and pulls the tea out of the carrier as Ben pulls his hand away and they both avert their gazes. 

“Right then, like I said, thank you for the tea,” Rey says, trying to keep her tone formal, professional. 

  
  


“I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?” Armie asks.

“No!” Ben and Rey reply in unison, and Armie eyes them quizzically.

“Right...” he starts, his tone suspicious, “Well, we should probably start rehearsing, yeah?” he says as he walks over to them, helping himself to the caramel macchiato on the drink tray. “Thanks for the coffee, by the way, Benji.”

“Anytime,” Ben mutters.

🎶🎶🎶

Rey is an exceptional flautist. A Juilliard graduate. A member of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. She is a serious and focused musician. She rarely, if ever, misses her entrances.

But she’s never had to play while sitting next to Ben Solo before. 

She is mesmerized by the way he pours over the music, his brow furrowing slightly, his dark hair falling in gentle waves framing his beautiful face. She watches intently as his striking features scrunch up with intense resolve, captivated by the way his large hand engulfs the bow, the way his fingers glide down along the cello’s strings. 

She didn’t realize it was possible to be jealous of a musical instrument until this exact moment.

“ _Rey_ ,” she hears Armie and Ben saying, snapping her out of her reverie.

“You keep missing your entrance,” Armie says, a hint of mild irritation in his tone.

“Oh, right, sorry I just, um—just got a bit distracted, but it won’t happen again,” Rey assures them. 

But even when she starts playing again, she can’t help but steal glances at Ben, and, _God_ , it’s impossible to deny how in love with him she still is when she watches him play. 

🎶🎶🎶

In the middle of the trio, there is a moment where the cello drops out. Ben _should_ be following along in his music so he knows when to come in again, but how can he _possibly_ keep his eyes on his score when the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on is sitting right next to him playing the flute so exquisitely it almost brings him to tears?

She missed her entrance the first few times, but now that she’s engrossed in the music, Ben can’t take his eyes off of her. Her passion for performing is palpable in the way her hazel eyes light up, the way a smile tugs at her lips, the way her body begins to sway to the music.

He’s transfixed by the way her small fingers nimbly move up and down along the flute’s keys, the way her lips look so pink and soft against the silver mouthpiece and he has never missed feeling her lips pressed against his more than he does in this moment.

“Ben? Hello? We keep playing the same measure over and over again waiting for you to come in,” he suddenly hears Armie saying.

“Oh, um, right,” Ben says as his eyes hurriedly scan his music to find his entrance.

Armie sighs.

“It’s the pick-up to measure 42, Ben,” he mutters irritably. 

“Right. Sorry.”


	6. Chapter 6

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**Later that day, Rey seems to be obsessed with one particular musical instrument...**

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**Rey is really going through it**

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**The next trio rehearsal**

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When Rey arrives for rehearsal clutching an iced Americano that she brought for Ben in one hand and her flute case in the other, he is practicing by himself in the rehearsal hall. He is completely engrossed in the music, his whole body swaying with each flourish of his bow, and Rey is, once again, transfixed. She leans against the doorway, biting her lower lip slightly as she watches him. His expression is serious; his brows are furrowed and there is a fiery intensity with which he approaches performing that she remembers well. 

When he notices her watching him, his eyes widen and he’s so startled he nearly knocks his cello over and his music stand along with it. He reaches forward to steady both of them in a nervous flurry, and his score ends up sliding off the music stand.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Rey exclaims as she hurriedly makes her way over to him, gingerly setting her flute case on the floor before bending over to help him pick up his music. He reaches for his music at the exact same moment, and their hands brush. 

Rey looks up at him and they freeze. His hand, which she is suddenly hyper-aware of, feels heavy and warm where it rests atop hers, and she feels her breathing suddenly become more labored.

There is a tense silence that drags on for a long moment, until Rey clears her throat and averts her gaze.

“I, um,” she starts to say as she pulls her hand away, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay...are you, um — are you drinking coffee now?” he asks, tilting his head slightly in the direction of the iced Americano she’s holding in her other hand as a quizzical expression crosses his face.

“Oh, no, I, um...I got it for you? It was very kind of you to bring me tea the other day so I just wanted to return the favor,” Rey explains with a shrug, “Venti iced Americano with one pump of hazelnut syrup, right?”

A smile tugs at his lips.

  
“You remember my coffee order.”

“Well, you remembered how I take my tea,” she points out with a shy smile.

“Thank you, sweethe—” he swallows thickly, awkwardly darting his eyes to the ceiling, “Rey. I mean. Thank you, Rey.”

Ben reaches out to take the drink from her, and their hands brush again. He lets his hand linger against hers for a moment and she takes a hesitant step toward him, her eyes darting toward his lips. It feels completely involuntary, like some magnetic force outside of herself is pulling her toward him. 

The scent of his cologne floods her senses—it’s the same scent he wore when they were at Juilliard together, something expensive that smells of bergamot and mahogany. It transports her back to Julliard, to her dorm, to stolen moments in practice rooms, to holding hands in the snow while he walked her to class as they basked in the colorful glow of New York City at Christmas time. 

“It’s been really nice, seeing you again,” Rey murmurs, and Ben takes a step closer to her.

“It’s been nice seeing you, too,” he says softly.

Their gazes are locked now, and Rey feels herself moving even closer to him.

She blushes and bites back a smile when he reaches forward and tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. He starts to tilt his face towards hers.

And that’s when she hears the sound of Armie’s footsteps entering the rehearsal hall. Rey abruptly pulls her hand away from Ben’s, nearly spilling his drink in the process. 

Armie’s brow is furrowed and his eyes are darting back and forth between Rey and Ben with a suspicious look on his face.

“Um...” he starts to say, “Sorry I’m late again.”

“It’s fine,” Rey mutters, hurriedly picking up her flute case and making her way over to her music stand. 


	7. Chapter 7

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**The things Rey was thinking but couldn’t say...**

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Ben is setting up his cello when Rey enters the rehearsal hall.

“Hi,” she says, her voice sounding hesitant and nervous.

The way his whole face lights up when he sees her makes her feel like there is warm sunshine flooding her veins.

“Hi,” he echoes, and she smiles back at him bashfully. “So, um...apparently Armie is sick with a stomach bug or something, so it’ll just be us today.”

“Oh,” Rey replies awkwardly as she nods, “Right. Okay then.”

She walks over to where Ben had already set up her music stand and chair, and she busies herself with sorting out her music and putting her flute together. She steals timid glances at Ben while he begins warming up.

“You know,” Rey starts to say, and Ben stops playing and sets his bow on the music stand as he turns to look at her, “When I first joined the orchestra in school as a kid, I wanted to play the cello, but I ended up going with the flute instead because flutes are much less expensive, and I knew I eventually I would have to buy my own instrument if I stuck with music, and I, um, well...” 

Rey takes a deep breath. 

“I knew none of the many foster parents I cycled through would ever buy an instrument for me, so I knew I was going to have to save up to buy one for myself, and that would be on top of paying for private lessons. So it made sense to choose an instrument that was more...economically sensible. And don’t get me wrong, I ended up falling in love with the flute wouldn’t trade being a flautist for the world but...yeah. ”

She nervously darts her eyes to the floor. 

“You were in foster care?” Ben asks, his brows furrowing.

Rey nods without looking up, anxiously fidgeting with her hands. 

“My parents were, um...they were alcoholics or something and they, um, they abandoned me, they um, they didn’t want me so they put me in foster care. And none of my foster parents ever wanted me either. I was constantly getting bounced around.”

Rey hesitantly glances up at Ben as she feels tears prickling in her eyes. And maybe she’s imagining things, but his eyes appear to be tinged with tears, too. He wordlessly reaches over and takes her hand.

“I’m so sorry, Rey. You didn’t deserve that.”

She takes a shaky breath.

“I’m, um, I’m not good at opening up to people,” she admits as her eyes dart to the floor again, “Because I always feel like once they get to know me, really know me, they’ll leave. I was abandoned again and again as a kid and I just...always feel like it’s going to happen again. I’m always scared I’ll be alone.”

“I know what that’s like,” Ben says quietly, “I’ve spent most of my life feeling alone, too. My parents weren’t around a lot when I was a kid, they both had really demanding jobs, and when I started having mental health problems in middle school they just...didn’t want to deal with me, so they sent me away to this boarding school that was supposed to help me get better, but in a lot of ways it just made me get worse. Things got better when I went to college and was able to start seeing a really good therapist, but I resented my parents for a long time because of what they did. And I spent most of my life feeling like no one would ever really care about me, that I was just fundamentally broken or something, until I went to Juilliard for graduate school and met a certain beautiful flute player,” he says with a soft smile, and Rey looks up at him, blushing slightly as a smile tugs at her lips.

She squeezes his hand.

“I had no idea you went through all of that, Ben,” she says quietly, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Like I said, things are better now. I just wanted you to know that I understand and you’re not alone, Rey.” 

“Neither are you,” Rey murmurs. 

They remain sitting there for a long moment with their hands clasped, until Ben pulls away and picks up his bow. He hands it to her.

“Did you want to give it a try? Playing the cello, I mean,” Ben says, “I could teach you.”

Rey smiles and takes the bow.

“I would love that.”

He gingerly passes his cello over to her.

“You’ll have to adjust the end pin for your height,” he explains. 

She nods.

“How do I know how much to adjust it?” she asks.  
  


“The arches of the cello should hit around your knees.”

Rey nods and she reaches down to adjust the end pin accordingly.

“Now what?” she asks, glancing up at him. 

“So the four strings go from highest to lowest starting from your left, and they go down by fifths,” he tells her.

He leans down and reaches around her to pluck the strings and Rey draws in a sharp breath, freezing up slightly as she feels his arm brush against hers.

“So there’s A,” he says plucking the string farthest to the left, “D, G, C,” he continues, plucking each string as he names the notes.

“Right,” Rey nods, her voice coming out slightly breathy, “Got it.”

“Lean forward a little so your legs are tilted more toward the ground,” he murmurs against her ear, “So you don’t hit the bow against your knees.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense,” Rey manages to say despite the fact that she suddenly feels tremendously dizzy.

“And try to relax your legs so they aren’t clenching so tightly around the cello like that,” he adds, ever so lightly brushing his fingertips against her knees. 

Rey tilts her head upward so she’s facing him, biting her lower lip slightly and they remain frozen for a long moment, staring at each other. Ben’s eyes linger on her lips, and their shoulders rise with the effort of their labored breaths, until Rey closes the gap between them, letting her lips press against his, and _oh_ , it’s everything. 

It’s even better than she remembered.

She feels his hand on the side of her face as he deepens the kiss, his tongue delicately gliding through her parted lips. A tiny gasp escapes from the back of her throat and it occurs to her that she would like to spend forever kissing Ben Solo.

But then she hears her phone vibrating in her purse and, agonizingly, she has to pull away.

Her features scrunch up into a cross expression, and Ben chuckles.

She scoffs playfully.

“Are you laughing at me, Benjamin?”  
  


“I almost forgot how cute you are when you’re annoyed,” he says with a smirk, and Rey blushes.

“Shut up,” she mutters, but she’s fighting back a grin as she fishes through her bag to find her phone. “Shit, that’s my alarm,” she says as she pulls her phone out of her bag, “It’s already 2:30. I need to go pick up Emily from school.”

“Oh, right, of course,” Ben says, nodding.

“Here’s your, um, cello,” Rey says, passing the instrument back to him while she hurriedly packs up her flute and her music. “I’ll um, see you at the next rehearsal, I guess?” she adds as she stands up and slides her bag onto her shoulder.

“Yes, see you then.”

Rey stands up and turns to leave, but Ben gently takes her hand and tugs at it.

“Wh—” she starts to say, but Ben cuts her off, pulling her in by her waist for another kiss, which is somehow even more electrifying and dizzying than the last one.

“When do you want to have your next cello lesson?” he murmurs when he pulls away.

“I—” Rey stammers, unable to form words when he’s standing this close to her. “I’ll um, I’ll text you, okay?”

“Sounds good, sweetheart,” he says softly as he tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. “I hope you have a good rest of your day,” he adds with a gentle smile.

“Right, you too,” Rey manages awkwardly, “Um, good-bye then.”

And then she hurriedly makes her way out of the rehearsal hall as the weight of everything that just happened comes crashing down on her.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

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**Rose is, of course, beyond thrilled about these recent developments.**

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**Sunday Night**

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Emily is sitting on the subway holding her calligraphy set in one hand and her mother’s hand with the other.

“Mommy, can I follow along in the music when we’re at your rehearsal?” she asks, turning to look up at Rey.

Rey smiles warmly and smooths out Emily’s hair.

“I think it might be a little hard for you to read, my love.”

“I am very good at reading music, Miss Holdo told me so,” Emily informs her with a prideful smirk, “She is teaching me songs by _Bach_.”

“Yes, I know that, sweetie, but Tchaikovsky is much harder to read than ‘Prelude in C.’”

Emily scrunches up her face in confusion.

“What’s a Chai-cop-skee?” she asks, tilting her head slightly.

Rey chuckles.

“ _Tchaikovsky_ is the name of the composer who wrote the music the orchestra I play for is going to perform at our concert.”

“Ohhh,” Emily says, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He composed _The Nutcracker.”_

Emily’s eyes light up.

“Ooo, I love _The Nutcracker!_ Are you going to play songs from _The Nutcracker,_ Mommy!?”

“No, not at this concert, sweetie,” Rey explains, “We’re doing songs from _Romeo & Juliet _ and _Swan Lake.”_

“Oh,” Emily says with a frown, visibly disappointed. “That sounds boring.”

With a sigh, she rests her head on Rey’s arm as she pulls out one of her calligraphy pens and absentmindedly starts drawing music notes while she hums “Prelude in C Major” to herself. 

🎶🎶🎶

Rey’s heart is racing when she arrives at rehearsal, a frenetic drumbeat thrumming in her ears. 

The string section is on the other side of the stage, and Rey hopes that’s far enough away for Ben not to notice that Emily’s has his eyes or his same shade of thick dark brown hair, which hides a pair of ears that Rey thinks are adorable and Emily insists are too big for her face. And she certainly hopes he won’t be able to tell how old Emily is and start doing the calculations in his head. She feels so _stupid_ for not remembering Emily was off from school today, and she hopes this careless mistake doesn’t blow up in her face.

But then again, it wouldn’t be the only careless mistake she’s made lately. 

The sound of the orchestra warming up does bring her a small amount of comfort; it’s always been one of her favorite sounds in the world. There’s an extra chair beside Rey’s, which Maestro Phasma must have thoughtfully placed there for Emily. 

Emily turns to the piccolo player sitting to her right.

“Hi,” she says with a grin, “I’m Emily. I’m six!”

“Emily,” Rey says firmly, “Please don’t distract the other musicians.”

The piccolo player smiles.

“It’s fine,” she says, “Hi, Emily. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Here,” Rey says gently, fishing Emily’s calligraphy set out of her bag, “Why don’t you practice writing in your calligraphy set? Make something pretty for me.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Emily says with a contented smile as she busies herself with writing the alphabet. 

“Oh my goodness, is this Emily?” Rey looks up to see a very enthusiastic Rose standing in front of her. 

“Oh, um...yes,” Rey says hesitantly.

Emily looks up and smirks.

“Hi, what’s your name?” she asks.

Rose crouches down so she’s at Emily’s level.

“My name is Rose, your mommy has told me so much about you. It’s so great to finally meet you!” she chirps enthusiastically. 

“Nice to meet you, Miss Rose,” Emily replies, “This is my cluh-rig-rah-fee set,” Emily informs her, tilting her paper so Rose can see. “I am practicing the alphabet.”

“Oh _wow_ , you’re doing a beautiful job,” Rose says as she scans the page in Emily’s notebook with wide eyes. 

“Thank you, I’ve been practicing a lot. My teacher said she can tell I work really hard and take my time when I do my writing,” Emily tells her with a hint of pride in her voice.

  
“I can tell, too,” Rose says with a smile, “What grade are you in, sweetie?”

“I’m in first grade! School is so much fun. My favorite part of school is music class. I play the piano.”

Rey holds her breath while Rose pauses for the briefest moment. 

“That’s so cool! I play the viola _,_ ” she says finally, and Rey relaxes somewhat, hoping Rose hasn’t connected the dots.

“What’s that?” Emily asks, tilting her head.  
  


“It’s like a violin, only _cooler_ ,” Rose says with raised eyebrows.  
  


“Oh _wow_ ,” Emily turns to Rey, who is in the process of putting together her flute. “Mommy, can I play the viola like Miss Rose?”

  
Rey chuckles. 

“Let’s focus on piano for right now my love, but maybe in a few years,” she assures her.

“Okay,” Emily replies cheerfully, picking up her calligraphy pen again. 

“Well, I think rehearsal is starting soon, but it was so nice to meet you, Emily,” Rose says before booping Emily’s freckled nose. Emily scrunches up her nose and giggles. 

“You’re funny. It was nice to meet you, too, Miss Rose.”

🎶🎶🎶

“It looks like you and Emily are getting along swimmingly,” Ben points out when Rose gets back to her seat beside him. 

“She’s a very sweet kid,” Rose says with a smile. “But, um...Ben, did you know that Emily is in first grade?” Rose asks, her voice tinged with concern. 

“What? No, I didn’t,” he replies matter-of-factly as he sets up his cello. “Why does that matter?”

“Because...that means she’s six. And...”

Ben appears confused for a moment, but then realization dawns on him.

“Oh...so she must have gotten pregnant right after she broke up with me.”

“Or...I don’t know... do you think...do you think Emily could be yours?” Rose asks, her voice dropping to a whisper, leaning in closer to Ben and looking around to make sure no one is listening. 

Ben shakes his head.

“No, that’s not possible. Rey would never keep something like that from me,” he insists. “It was probably a rebound one-night stand type of situation and that’s why the dad isn’t in her life.”

“Right...” Rose trails off, “I guess that could be it. But she also, um...she has a calligraphy set. Emily, I mean.”

Ben freezes for a fraction of a second but then shrugs.

“I’m sure that’s a coincidence,” he retorts as he places his music on his stand. “Like I said, Rey wouldn’t hide something like that from me. Trust me.”

Rose sighs as she reaches down to take her viola out of the case.

  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, she doesn’t seem like the type of person who would do that.”


	9. Chapter 9

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* * *

Ben is fidgeting with his black t-shirt when Rey enters the rehearsal hall, and he immediately stands up when he sees her walk in the room.

“Hi,” he says nervously, “I, um — I set up the cello for you.”

Rey smiles.

“Thank you,” she says, biting her lip as she looks up at him. “I got you another iced Americano, as a way of saying thanks for giving me cello lessons,” she informs him as she hands him the drink.

“You don’t owe me anything, I’m more than happy to teach you,” he assures her, “But I would never turn down free coffee,” he adds with a smirk. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips. It’s a small kiss, and yet it’s as electrifying as ever, and it takes Rey a moment to catch her breath and get her bearings again.

“You’re welcome,” she finally manages.

She gingerly sets her flute case on the floor and then sits down and positions the cello between her legs.

“So it’s, um, A—” she begins, plucking the farthest string to the left, and then plucking the other three strings “—D, G, C, right?” she asks, turning to Ben, who is sitting on the edge of his chair beside her.

“Very good,” he murmurs, “You’re an excellent student.”

  
Rey blushes.

“It’s only because I have such a great teacher,” she says softly. She finds her eyes darting to his mouth, and she leans forward and presses her lips against his, unable to fight the magnetic pull that’s constantly drawing her closer to him. Ben is initially taken by surprise, but after a moment she feels him holding her face with one hand and carding through her hair with the other. Rey kisses him deeply, letting her tongue glide through his lips, eliciting the smallest moan from the back of Ben’s throat. 

When Rey pulls back, Ben smiles at her smugly.

“I’m not going to be able to get much teaching done if you keep doing that,” he points out.

“Oh,” Rey replies, suddenly embarrassed, “I’m sorry, I—”

Ben stops her mid-sentence with another kiss. She wonders how it’s possible that each kiss from Ben Solo is more intoxicating than the last, and it occurs to her how much she would like to do a great deal _more_ than just kiss him.

“I wasn’t complaining,” he reassures her as he pulls back from the kiss, gingerly tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Oh,” is all Rey can manage, blushing as she bites back a smile.

“Have I ever told you how cute you are when you blush?” he asks, tilting his head slightly, “Or how lovely your freckles are?” he adds, brushing the back of his hand against her freckled cheeks. Rey leans into his touch.

“Can I tell you something, Rey?” he asks softly.

“Anything,” she breathes out.

“Rey, I...” he starts, swallowing hard before nervously darting his eyes to the floor, “Right before you broke up with me, I was going to tell you —” he takes a deep breath and looks up at her again, “I was going to tell you I loved you and, _God_ , I haven’t stopped loving you, Rey, not for one second, and these past couple of weeks have taught me to hope as I scarcely allowed myself to hope before—”

_Fuck._

“Ben...” Rey says quietly, a tear falling down her cheek.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asks, reaching out to brush her tears away, but she pulls back abruptly. His brows furrow in confusion and hurt. “Why are you crying?”

“ _God,_ Ben, you don’t mean that — if — if _you_ really knew me, if you knew — if you knew what I’ve _done_ , you would hate me — you’d — you’d never forgive me.”

“Rey,” Ben murmurs, reaching over to take her hand, “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is. There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me love you any less.”

“Please, Ben, I just—” she pulls her hand away and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve done something horrible because of my own bloody 

insecurity and it was so selfish and I just—”

Rey squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, dreading what she has to say next. She had foolishly hoped this little bubble of happiness and false hope could last a little longer before it inevitably burst.

“I think it’s best if we just keep things professional,” she says stiffly, her eyes glued to the floor, clutching the neck of the cello a little too tightly. 

“Rey, please don’t do this, please don’t push me away again,” Ben insists, “I _love_ you, and whatever it is you’re so afraid to tell me isn’t going to change that.”

A sob escapes from the back of Rey’s throat and she can feel her chin quivering. 

“Rey,” he says softly, gently rubbing her back, “It’s okay. You can tell me.”

Rey draws in a slow, shaky breath. 

She realizes she’s going to have to tell him eventually, so she somehow finds a way to form the words she’s been so terrified to say.

“Emily is your daughter.”

She says it so quietly she wonders if he even heard her. But she feels his hand stiffen against her back, and then he pulls it away.

“I must have heard you wrong, because it sounded like you said —” his voice cracks and becomes quieter, “Like you said Emily is my daughter, which would be impossible because you would never hide something like that from me.”

“Ben—” Rey lets out another sob, “Ben, you said, you said nothing would change how you feel about me —”

“Well, I never imagined you could do something like _this_ ,” he retorts, his voice cold and distant as he stares straight ahead. 

“Ben, I’m so sorry, please just — please let me explain—”

“What possible explanation could you possibly have for keeping my daughter from me for _six fucking years,_ Rey? Those are six years that I can never, ever get back,” he turns to look at her, and her. “And what about now? Were you planning to let me see her? Or do I need to speak to a lawyer about this?”

“Jesus, no, Ben, of course not, I just — it was just — our relationship was so new — and if I had any idea you wanted to be a part of her life — I never would’ve — _God_ , I’m so stupid — you have to believe me when I tell you I am so, so sorry.”

Now tears are starting to form in Ben’s eyes.

“I just can’t believe I have had a child this whole time, and you kept that from me. ‘Sorry’ isn’t going to give me those six years back. I missed — I missed so much time with my daughter that I can never, ever get back — her first words, her first steps — you took those things from me and I don’t know how you possibly expect me to forgive you.”

Rey tries to form words between her sobs.

“I understand, but please, you don’t need to get a lawyer, of course you can see her, we’ll work something out—”

“Hopefully something where I don’t have to see you.”

Ben’s words pierce through her chest like a knife.

“Can I have my cello back, please?” he asks without looking at her.

Rey sniffs.

“Yeah, of course,” she says quietly as she hands it back to him.

“I’m going to speak with Maestro Phasma and see if there’s anyone else who can play the cello part in the trio, since I don’t really want to be in the same room with you right now,” Ben says as he takes his cello back a bit too forcefully and starts putting it in the case.

“Right,” Rey says softly, sniffling, “I understand.”  
  


She watches as he finishes packing up his cello and walks away from her without saying a word, slamming the door behind him. 


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

* * *

Rey is trying and failing to fall asleep when she hears a tiny knock on her door.

  
“You can come in, sweetie.”

Emily pokes her head in the door.

“Did you have a bad dream or something? Come here, my love,” Rey tells her.

Emily walks over and climbs into bed next to Rey.

“I heard you crying and I wanted to come make sure you’re okay. I don’t want you to be sad, Mommy,” Emily says, looking up at her with wide, pleading eyes.

This almost makes Rey cry more.

“You’re so sweet,” Rey says, pulling Emily onto her lap and squeezing her tight. “Mummy’s okay.”

Emily looks up at Rey and tilts her head as she wipes away her mother’s tears.

“Then why are you crying?”  
  


Rey smiles and sighs, smoothing out Emily’s hair.

“It’s just...grown-up stuff.”

Emily frowns.

“I never want to be a grown-up.”

“But I thought you said you want to be a conductor like Maestro Phasma when you grow up?”

“I don’t need to be a grown-up to be a conductor, I’m going to be the first kid conductor,” Emily informs her with a smirk, “I will conduct the New York Fill-er-onic all by myself.”

Rey chuckles.

“If anyone was going to be the first kid to conduct the New York Philharmonic, it would be you, sweetie.”

“Can I get a paton, Mommy? Pleeeease?”

“I think you mean baton, love,” Rey says, chuckling as she kisses Emily’s forehead.

Emily nods and then rests her head against Rey’s chest with a contented sigh. Rey hugs her tightly.

“Can I sleep here tonight so you won’t be sad anymore?”

Rey smiles.

“Of course, sweetie.”

* * *

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* * *

* * *

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

**Later that day**

****

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****

* * *

* * *

* * *

Ben is pacing nervously in the lobby of the auditorium and fidgeting with his program when Rey, Kaydel, and Jannah arrive. His eyes light up when he sees Rey, but he only offers a half-hearted smile. He’s still keeping her at a distance and she can feel it and while she understands, it still stings a little. 

Rey waves and walks over to him with Kaydel and Jannah in tow.

“Is that...?” she hears Kaydel whispering. 

“Yes, and you promised not to make a big deal about it, remember?”

“I said I would do my best,” Kaydel counters. 

Rey sighs and does her best to ignore Kaydel as she turns to face Ben.

“Thank you so much for coming,” Rey tells him, and it comes out sounding more stiff and formal than she had intended. 

  
His face softens somewhat.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“You must be Ben!” Kaydel exclaims, throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a hug. Ben’s eyes widen and he awkwardly pats her on the back.

“Um...hi.”

“I’m Kaydel, Rey’s best friend,” Kaydel says as she pulls away from the hug, “And this is my girlfriend, Jannah. We’ve heard _so_ much about you.”

Rey shoots Kaydel a warning look, but Kaydel just smirks, looking altogether too pleased with herself. 

“Nice to meet you, Ben,” Jannah says as she extends her hand for Ben to shake, “And I apologize for my, er, overly enthusiastic girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, as well,” Ben replies somewhat awkwardly. “And, um...it’s fine.”

Just then, the lights in the lobby dim, indicating that the show is about to start soon.

🎶🎶🎶

There are at least a dozen other kids performing in the recital, and Emily isn’t on until the end. 

Ben still has his walls up, and Rey feels like he’s a hundred miles away from her even though he’s sitting right next to her. She’s beginning to wish she sat next to Kaydel instead. 

She doesn’t even realize she’s been nervously tapping her hand on the arm of the auditorium seat until she feels Ben’s hand lightly rest on top of it. It’s a tentative gesture, like there’s still a part of him that’s unsure, but after a moment his hand relaxes and it feels heavy atop her own in a comforting way.

Rey shoots him a shy glance in the darkness of the auditorium and she feels herself blushing when he smiles at her. It’s a small, crooked smile, but it’s still everything. 

🎶🎶🎶

When Emily’s name is finally announced, Rey, Ben, Kaydel, and Jannah all cheer for her as she walks onto the stage. Emily smiles and sits down at the piano, smoothing out her dress, and then her fingers begin to dance across the keys as she plays the notes of Bach’s “Minuet in G Major.”

Rey’s heard Emily practicing this piece for weeks, and she’s holding her breath hoping she doesn’t make any mistakes. But Emily plays the piece flawlessly, and Rey beams with pride, tears welling in her eyes as the beautiful sounds of the music her daughter is making echo through the large auditorium. 

She feels Ben squeeze her hand and when she turns to look at him, she realizes he has tears in his eyes, too.

When Emily finishes the piece, she stands up and curtsies with the biggest grin on her face as Rey, Ben, Kaydel, and Jannah all stand up and cheer.

“Yesssss queeen!!!!!!!” Kaydel shouts between enthusiastic whistles. 

They sit down as Emily walks off the stage. 

“I should probably get going now, then,” Ben whispers.

“So soon?” Rey hears herself whispering back as she turns to look at him.

“We agreed we’d wait until we meet with the therapist before I meet Emily, right? And there’s only one more performer after her, so...”

“Oh, yes,” Rey nods, “Right. Well, will you let me walk you out at least?”

“Of course.”

🎶🎶🎶

“Thank you again for coming,” Rey tells him once they’re in the auditorium, “It really means a lot to me that you were here for Emily.”

“Of course. I told you, I’ll be at every recital, you just have to let me know when they are,” he assures her. He pauses for a moment, and then he smiles softly. “Our daughter is extremely talented.”

Rey smiles back at him. “Isn’t she?”

There is a tense silence, and Ben takes a step closer to Rey.

“It was good to see you,” he says finally. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Ben brushes her cheek with the back of his hand and then uses his thumb to guide her chin upward. He presses a small, delicate kiss to her lips.

“Goodnight, Rey,” he murmurs. 

How is it that even the most chaste kiss from Ben Solo can steal the air from her lungs and send her heart racing into overdrive?

“Goodnight, Ben,” Rey manages breathlessly, “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will.”


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

* * *

Rey’s heart sings when she steps into the doorway of the rehearsal hall and sees that Ben _is_ there early, and he’s practicing very intently. She’s not sure if he got there early in hopes of spending time with her or if he just wanted some extra time to practice, but either way, she’s thrilled to see him. 

She watches as he pours over his music, his brow furrowed slightly, his whole body swaying with the music with each flourish of his bow, his fingers running up and down along the neck of the cello, his focus lazer-sharp. She’s certain he has no idea she’s there, and she doesn’t want to interrupt, utterly transfixed. And the music sounds so heart-stoppingly beautiful she realizes she has tears welling in her eyes. 

She wonders if it’s not just because of how gorgeous the music sounds. 

When he finishes the piece, Rey claps her hands, the sound echoing through the large rehearsal space.

Ben jumps slightly, putting a hand on his chest, but then he smiles.

“You scared me, sweetheart.”

Rey smiles back at him and walks over toward where he’s sitting.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, you just looked so focused, I didn’t want to interrupt,” she tells him, “And also,” she adds, setting her flute case down beside her chair, “The music sounded so beautiful, I didn’t want it to stop.”

Ben pushes down the endpin on his cello and gingerly sets it back inside the case. 

Rey is about to sit down when she feels him tugging at her arm.

“What is it?” 

“Come here,” he murmurs, pulling her onto his lap.

Rey giggles, blushing slightly as she rests her forehead against his.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hi,” he echoes, smiling as he takes her face in his hand.

He sighs.

“I missed you,” he tells her. 

“Really?”

“Yes,” he says softly, pressing a small kiss to her neck and then nuzzling into her shoulder, breathing her in.

“Even though you’re mad at me?”

“I don’t want to talk about that. Just sit with me.”

Rey runs a hand through his hair and kisses the top of his head.

“Okay,” she murmurs, “I can do that.”

He wraps his arms around her and holds her tightly. Rey isn’t sure how long they stay like that. Eventually Ben lifts his head up and his eyes scan her face.

She reaches forward and brushes her fingertips against his cheek and he closes his eyes, leaning into her touch as her fingertips explore his face, connecting the dots between the smatterings of moles on his pale skin.

“I see the therapist today at 4,” she tells him. “Did you make an appointment, too? She said she wants to meet with us separately first.”

He opens his eyes and lifts a hand to stroke her cheek. 

“I called as soon as you gave me her number,” he assures her. “I have an appointment on Wednesday.”

“Oh, good. Perfect. Thank you, Ben. Really. It means a lot that you’re on board with this.”

“I’ll always do everything I can to support Emily, I mean that, Rey,” he says firmly, “I know—” his voice is softer when he speaks next, gently carding his hand through her hair as he rests his forehead against hers again, “I know your parents weren’t there for you when you were a kid and I know that’s why you did...what you did. But I don’t want you to be scared. I want you to know I’ll always be here—for both of you.”

Rey feels tears pricking in her eyes as a smile tugs at her lips.

“Ben, I—”

And that’s when they hear Armie walking in, and Rey scrambles to her feet. Both Rey and Ben’s eyes dart to the floor.

“Was I interrupting something?”

_Yes. Clearly_ , Rey thinks.

“No, it’s fine,” Ben mutters irritably. 

“Right...anyway, we should start rehearsing from the top, we don’t have many more rehearsals left before the performance so we really need to get serious,” Armie says as he sits down and opens his violin case.

“Right,” Rey mumbles as she busies herself with putting her flute together.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

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	14. Chapter 14

Rey gently knocks on the door to Ben’s apartment. He opens the door looking devastatingly handsome in a white button down and black jeans. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, and he smiles at her and _oh_ it’s so beautiful she could _melt._

She steps inside and gently closes the door behind her.

“Hi,” she says softly and then she feels him pulling her in by her waist and pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

Ben’s apartment is all stainless steel and black leather but with cozy accents, like the bouquet of fresh flowers on the kitchen table, a blue throw blanket on the black couch, a framed poster of Yo-Yo Ma, and a keyboard with a music score resting on it. His cello is propped up beside the keyboard with a chair placed beside it. But most noticeably, the apartment is filled with lit candles, bathing it in a warm glow. 

“Ben,” Rey murmurs as she steps toward him, “You didn’t have to do... all this,” she tells him as she gestures to the candles, but she’s blushing slightly as she bites back a smile, her eyes nervously darting to the floor.

“Of course I did,” he replies, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand. She feels slightly dizzy with him this close to her, the scent of his cologne flooding her senses and the warmth of his hand against her cheek. “I hope you like pasta,” he adds.

“I _love_ pasta,” Rey replies with a grin.

Ben returns her smile.

“I used my Nonna Padmé’s Bolognese recipe,” he tells her. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it,” she assures him, pushing herself up on her tiptoes to press her lips to his again, and she feels him smile into the kiss.

He gently runs a hand through her hair.

“It’s good to see you,” he tells her.

“It’s good to see you, too, Ben,” she murmurs. “I am rather starving though.”

“Right, of course. I’ve got everything all ready for you,” he says as he extends his hand for her to take and leads her to his kitchen.

  
  
  


🎶🎶🎶

The Bolognese smells _delicious_ and she can’t wait to try it.

“Do you want some wine to go with your pasta?” Ben asks as he starts scooping the pasta and sauce from the pans and onto a plate for Rey.

“Sure,” Rey replies, smiling at him. 

“I have all different kinds, but I think Merlot pairs best with this dish,” Ben replies.

“I have never in my life thought about what wine ‘pairs well’ with my food, Benjamin,” Rey retorts teasingly. “I just get whatever is cheap and tastes reasonably good.”

“Well, I will have to teach you all about wine pairings, then,” he replies as he takes the bottle of Merlot from his wine rack before taking a pair of wine glasses out from the cupboard. “Merlot pairs well with pasta Bolognese because it has fruity notes of cherry followed by delicate spicy notes of black pepper as well as full, harmonious, dry, slightly tannic flavors.”

“Benjamin, I have no idea what any of those words mean,” she quips playfully. 

“Well, like I said, I will teach you all about wine pairings,” he informs her.

  
“I mean, you _are_ a very good teacher...and also a massive nerd,” she teases. “But you’re cute, so I’ll allow it,” she adds with a grin before standing up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips.

🎶🎶🎶

They sit down at the kitchen table and Ben is struck by how beautiful Rey’s face looks bathed in candle light. Her hair is normally wavy, but it looks like she’s curled it, and she’s wearing a dark purple wrap style dress. The color makes the green in her warm hazel eyes pop, and he’s overwhelmed by how beautiful she is.

He must be staring intently, because he notices she starts to blush.

“What?” she mutters.

“You’re just breathtakingly, impossibly beautiful, that’s all,” he replies as he picks up his wine to take a sip.

“You’re sweet,” Rey murmurs. “And this Bolognese is _delicious.”_

“Thank you, I’ll have to tell my Nonna you like it. She’s the one who taught me how to cook, actually. My parents never really had the time for that kind of thing, but whenever I went to my Nonna and Papa’s house, she always spent hours teaching me how to make all of all her favorite dishes.”

Rey smiles warmly.

“Your Nonna sounds wonderful.”

“She’s the best,” Ben replies, a large grin peaking across his face. “I can’t wait for you to meet her,” he says, and then thinks better of it and backtracks. “Eventually, I mean. If you want to.”

“I mean, I obviously want Emily to meet her great-grandmother,” Rey replies with a soft smile. “And I would love to meet her, too,” Rey assures him. “Speaking of Emily, how did your appointment today go?”

“It went well,” Ben replies as he dabs a napkin onto his face, “The therapist said Emily will probably be a little apprehensive about meeting me at first, because I’m a total stranger to her at this point and not to take that personally, and I said I understood. She said it would take time to build a relationship with her but I assured her that I’m going to be there for her and willing to put in that time. She said kids her age don’t usually ask a lot of questions because they don’t fully comprehend things like this yet and kind of just accept it as it is, but you and I can figure out how we want to answer any questions she may have with the therapist’s help, of course.”

Rey nods as she takes another sip of her wine.

“That sounds good. I really like Dr. Tano and I’m glad she’s helping us.”

“Yeah, Dr. Tano is wonderful,” Ben agrees. 

Rey sets her hand down on the table and Ben gingerly reaches over and takes it. Rey draws in a sharp breath, feeling warmth spreading across her chest. 

“I think it was such a good idea to talk to a therapist about this,” Ben tells her. “You’re such a good mom, Rey. Really.”

“Thank you,” Rey replies softly.

“So you liked the Bolognese?” he adds.

“I _loved_ it,” Rey assures him with a grin. 

“Nonna Padmé will be so glad to hear that.”

🎶🎶🎶

After Rey helps Ben clean up the dishes, her eyes dart over to Ben’s cello.

“Ah, yes, I _did_ promise you a lesson, didn’t I?” he says as he finishes drying off a wine glass with a dish towel and places the glass on the drying rack. “Come here,” he says softly, reaching for her hand. 

Rey sits down on the chair and settles the cello between her legs.

“Let me just adjust the endpin for your height,” Ben says, kneeling down in front of her and fussing with the endpin until the cello sits at the right level. Rey nervously darts her eyes to the ceiling, trying to banish the sudden influx of thoughts about all the _other_ things he could be doing on his knees right now. 

“Do you remember what note each string is?”

  
“I think so,” Rey replies, biting down on her lip and knitting her brows together as she tries to remember, “It’s, um, A—” she begins, plucking the farthest string to the left, and then plucking the other three strings “—D, G, and then C, right?”

Ben smiles and leans in close so he can murmur in her ear.

“Good girl.”

His words send a shiver down Rey’s spine and she feels her cheeks flushing hot.

“Now you’re ready to learn the first position,” he starts to say, “Take your left arm,” he murmurs, running his hand down her arm and guiding it to the cello’s fingerboard, “And position your fingers like this,” he says, spreading out her fingers across the fingerboard.

  
She turns to look up at him, feeling her breathing quickening.

“Like that?” she asks tentatively, her eyes wide as she gazes up at him, eager to please.

“Yes, like that,” he murmurs, “But relax your arm, sweetheart,” he adds, running his hand down the length of her arm. Rey draws in a sharp breath.

“Ben,” Rey breathes out, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Kiss me,” she murmurs, craning her neck up toward him.

He wastes no time filling the gap and pressing his lips to hers. Rey takes his face in her hands and kisses him slowly, deeply, savoring the chance to drink him in without fear of interruption.

She breaks the kiss for a moment, and the intense way he’s gazing at her makes her blush.

“Ben,” she says softly, reaching forward to touch his cheek, “I love you.”

A smile tugs at his lips and she can see tears starting to form in his eyes.

“I love you too,” he murmurs, but he pulls back when she leans in to kiss him again. She furrows her brows in confusion. “What is it?”

He smiles warmly.

“Sorry, I just want to put my cello away before we end up knocking it over or something.”

“Oh, right,” Rey replies as she watches him take the cello from her and gingerly set it in its case. 

“Now it will be easier to do this.”

“Do what?” Rey asks, but then he scoops her out of the chair and into his arms, answering her question.

“ _Oh_ ,” she manages breathlessly as she wraps her arms around his neck. 

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m taking you to my bed,” he informs her. “If that’s alright with you.”

“That’s very much alright with me,” Rey manages to say despite the fact that she feels completely dizzy, which isn’t helped when she feels his soft, full lips pressing against her own.

🎶🎶🎶

They are still kissing when he lays her down onto his bed, his lips moving to her jaw and then her neck.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs and Rey blushes. 

“I love you,” is her simple reply, and the words make Ben’s warm brown eyes light up. 

“I love you,” he echoes, kissing her forehead, “I love you,” he says again before kissing both of her cheeks, “I love you,” he says softly as he leans in to gently kiss her lips. His lips feel so soft and perfect against her own, a delicious electricity blossoming where their mouths meet, and she wants more, _more._ A tiny moan escapes from the back of Ben’s throat as Rey’s tongue slides between his lips, her hands tangling in his dark shock of hair. 

He breaks the kiss, his lips brushing against her ear when he speaks.

“Can I make you feel good, sweetheart?”

Rey nods.

“Please, Ben.”

He tugs at the tie of her wrap dress until it falls open. Rey watches him with wide eyes, biting down on her lower lip slightly.

“So beautiful,” he breathes out, an intense and worshipful look in his dark gaze as his eyes scan every inch of her. “This is so pretty,” he murmurs, brushing his fingertips along the lace fabric of her bra strap. “It’s a shame it’s just going to end up on the floor. Will you take it off for me?”

Rey nods, reaching behind her and unhooking her bra before sliding it off and letting it fall to the floor. 

Ben smiles. “Good girl.”

Then lips are on her neck again, and she throws her head back to accommodate him as he trails kisses lower until his lips find her breast, taking it into his mouth, his tongue swirling around her pebbled nipple as he palms at her other breast, keeping his eyes fixed on hers the whole time.

Rey whimpers and writhes at his ministrations. 

“Ben, _please—_ ”

Ben takes her breast out of his mouth and she whimpers slightly at the loss of contact.

“Please what, sweetheart? Tell me what you want.”

“Want you to touch me,” she whimpers. 

“Where do you want me to touch you?” he asks, sitting up so his lips are at her ear again, his voice rough and low.

“I need you to put your fingers inside of me, Ben.”

“Mmm, that’s better.” A smile plays on his lips as he lets his hand glide lower, fingertips tracing along the delicate lace of her panties before letting his hand dip inside, his fingers brushing along her folds, so slick with wet that it makes a filthy sound.

Ben swears under his breath.

“You’re so wet for me, Rey." Appreciation is evident in his voice, awe-struck as his eyes widen, and Rey whimpers.

He swirls his fingertips around her entrance, not quite giving her what she needs.

“Ben, _please_ , I _need_ you, need you to fuck me with your fingers _—_ ”

“God, you sound so sweet when you beg,” he murmurs, and then he slides two fingers inside of her and she gasps, crying out his name. “ _Fuck_ , you’re so tight, Rey,” he tells her, his voice a low growl that makes her shiver.

“I’ve needed you so much, I’ve missed you _—_ so much _—_ all these years _—_ I think about you _—_ all the time _—_ ” she manages between gasping breaths as he continues to thrust his fingers. She cries out as he twists his fingers inside of her, gripping at the sheets for purchase.

“I’ve needed you too, you have no idea how badly I’ve needed you, Rey,” he says fiercely, “God, whenever I touch myself I think about how perfect your tight little cunt felt around my cock whenever I fucked you. And I think about _—_ ”

“What else do you think about, Ben?”

“I think about how you _tasted_.”

Rey groans. “ _Fuck_.”

He slowly pulls his fingers out of her and holds her gaze as he slides them into his mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head slightly as he sucks at them. 

“ _Fuck_ , you taste even better than I remember, sweetheart.”

“Ben, please, will you—I need—” Rey clamors.

“You have to tell me what you want, Rey.”

“Need you to go down on me, Ben, need to feel your tongue inside of me, I want you to make me come with your mouth, _please.”_

“Mmm, that’s better... such good girl,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her lips, her jaw, her neck, down across her chest, along her stomach, and finally resting his head between her thighs. He gently tugs off her panties the rest of the way and lets them join her bra on the floor. 

He presses a kiss to one thigh and then the other, and then hooks his arms under her legs, pulling her closer to him until _finally_ his mouth is on her cunt, and it feels so delicious that she cries out. He moans as he licks and sucks at her, keeping his dark gaze fixed on her as she moans his name again and again.

“Ben, I’m so close,” she whimpers.

“Come for me, Rey,” Ben murmurs. He slides his fingers into her again and sucks at her clit and soon her orgasm crashes over her as she cries out his name, the world melting away until there is only this and only him and she could drown in this moment. 

Ben sits up so he can kiss her, his tongue finding hers as they devour each other, kissing hungrily, _desperately_ as Rey begins fussing with the buttons of Ben’s shirt. He helps her along without breaking the kiss, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way and shrugging it off onto the floor. Rey breaks the kiss for a moment to drink in the sight of him, broad shouldered and muscular, her fingertips tracing along his neck, one hand gliding lower onto his chest while the other runs down his arm. 

“Ben,” she breathes out, “I love you.” Now that she’s said it she never wants to stop telling him.

A smile tugs at his lips.

“I love you too, sweetheart. So much. You have no idea how much,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to hers again. She can feel how hard he is against her belly and she rocks up against him.

“Take this off,” he mumbles as he tugs at the open dress she’s still wearing, and she wastes no time doing as he asks and letting it fall to the floor.

“Such a good girl, doing as you’re told,” he murmurs before slanting his mouth against hers and kissing her deeply again. His lips taste like a heady, intoxicating tonic that she never wants to stop drinking.

She’s aching with want now, and she reaches forward to unbutton and unzip his jeans. He breaks the kiss just long enough to hastily pull his jeans off the rest of the way, letting them join the rest of their clothes in the heap on the floor. 

“Ben,” she murmurs, desperate to touch him, to make him feel the same pleasure he had given her. She gingerly reaches forward into his boxers and takes him in her hand, and he moans.

“ _Rey_.”

“Does that feel good, Ben?”

He groans. “You have no idea, Rey,” he says hoarsely. She tentatively pumps his cock, once and then twice, and his lips part slightly as his breathing hitches.

“I want you inside of me, Ben,” she confesses breathlessly, continuing to stroke his cock as she holds his gaze.

“Fuck,” he mutters. He leans forward and presses a tender kiss to her cheek. “Let me get a condom,” he says softly.

“Wait,” Rey says suddenly, tugging at his arm. 

“What is it, sweetheart? Do you — do you want to stop?”

“No, it’s not that, I just...I’m on birth control — I got an implant since, um, obviously I was bad about remembering to take my pills in college, and I — I want you to come inside of me, Ben,” she whispers against his ear, a tinge of desperation in her voice. 

“I want that, too, Rey,” he says fiercely. 

She watches as he sits up and takes his boxers off.

Her breathing quickens as he leans back down on top of her and kisses her, one hand stroking her cheek, the other guiding his cock toward her entrance.

She gasps when she feels him sliding inside of her.

She moans his name and a tiny, desperate sound escapes from the back of Ben’s throat as he slowly eases into her, until he’s all the way inside of her.

He gingerly rests his forehead against hers, intertwining their hands. 

“I love you,” he says softly, his voice trembling.

  
“I love you,” Rey echoes before pressing her lips to his. She whimpers as she feels him start to move.

“Ben, that feels — perfect —”

“God, it feels so good to be inside of you again,” he says in a low voice. “You’re so small but you always take me so well."

Rey wraps her legs around him, desperate to have more of him, feeling like she can’t get enough of him, aching for more of his touch, more of his love, more of _everything._

She moans as he continues to thrust into her, slowly increasing the pace, keeping their hands clasped and their gazes locked. 

“Ben,” she whimpers, “I’m so close.”

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he croons, “Need you to come on my cock, _please_.”

Rey groans and swears, and then his thumb is on her clit and she cries out.

“Yes, Ben, fuck, _fuckfuckfuck_ — please don’t stop — _Ben_ —”

The edges of her vision go white as she comes and waves of intense, exquisite pleasure rack over her body, and she feels Ben’s movements become more frenzied and then he comes, too, crying out her name and she feels him filling her and it’s _everything_. 

He stays on top of her for a moment, collapsing onto her chest and gasping for air, and then he slides out of her after a long moment. 

He immediately pulls her closer to him, and she hooks a leg over him as she buries her face in his chest.

“I love you, Rey,” she hears him saying as he gently rubs a hand up and down her back and presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

She snuggles in closer to him.

“I love you, too.”

Rey absentmindedly traces patterns on his chest with her fingertips and she feels him holding her closer and pressing another kiss to the top of her head.

“Ben?” she says after a moment.

“Mmm, yes?” he replies drowsily, gingerly carding his fingers through her hair.

“What does this mean?”  
  


“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Like, are we...together now?”

“Of course we are. If you want to be, I mean.”

Rey sighs contentedly.

“I do want us to be together.”

“So...you’re my girlfriend, then?”

Rey sits up so she can look at him, a playful smirk on her face.

“No, Benjamin, I just told you I love you and had sex with you because I was ever-so-grateful for that wonderful cello lesson,” she giggles, “Of course I’m your girlfriend,” she murmurs, leaning forward to press her lips to his, and he smiles into the kiss. She sighs contentedly and settles back against his chest again.

“I just...I know things are still...complicated,” Rey says finally, her tone becoming more serious.

“I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore,” he says simply, “We can’t change what’s already happened, and I just want to focus on my future with Emily...and with you. I just —”

He sighs.

“All I know is, you’re still the person I see my future with, Rey. And I don’t want to keep rehashing the past, I just want to focus on building a future for our family. Because I have this amazing, talented daughter and a beautiful woman who loves me and that’s what I want to focus on. And I know that you know what you did is wrong and that you’ve grown since then, and I trust you, Rey. I know you would never hide something from me again. I love you and I trust you and I love our daughter so much and I just want to spend the rest of my life making you both happy.”

Rey feels tears prickling in her eyes. She sits up and rests her forehead against his, and when she blinks, a tear falls down her check, and Ben immediately kisses it away.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Why are you crying?”

She sniffs.

“I’m not crying because I’m sad,” she reassures him, “I’m just... _God_ , Ben, you’re the most wonderful and unendingly kind and understanding and loving man in the whole world and I just...I can’t believe I was lucky enough to find someone like you, and that Emily will get to grow up with such an amazing father.”

“I love you, Rey, and you deserve all the love in the world,” he says fiercely before pressing his lips to hers.

“I love you too, Ben Solo,” she murmurs when she pulls away from the kiss.

She sighs contentedly and cuddles herself up against him again.

“Goodnight,” she says sleepily.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Ben murmurs. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. She falls asleep in his arms, feeling more safe and content than she ever has in her entire life. 

🎶🎶🎶

Once Rey is asleep, Ben kisses the top of her head and gingerly slides out of the bed, trying not to disturb her. He tiptoes into the living room and blows out the candles, and then returns to the bedroom. Rey looks up at him groggily.

“Where’d you go?” Rey mumbles sleepily.

“I was just blowing out the candles, sweetheart,” he murmurs, sliding back into the bed and wrapping his arms around her.

She sighs contentedly and snuggles up against him.

“Thought you left me,” she says in a small, drowsy mumble. 

Ben pulls her in closer and kisses her cheek.

“Never,” he assures her. 

“Love you,” she says softly as her eyes drift shut.

“I love you, too.”


	15. Chapter 15

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* * *

Once Emily and Rey sit down at the kitchen table with their bowls of chili to warm them up from the chilly Autumn evening, Rey takes a deep breath.

“Can I ask you something, sweetie?” 

“Sure, Mommy,” is Emily’s chipper, mouth half-full of chili reply.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Emily, it’s impolite, remember?” Rey chides gently. 

Emily nods and swallows.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Emily replies with a frown.

Rey smiles. “It’s okay, sweetie. Anyway, um. I wanted to ask you if you’ve ever noticed anything different about our family compared to your friends’ families?”

Emily scrunches up her face and looks up at the ceiling for a moment as she ponders this.

“I dunno,” she says finally. “All my friends have different families. Olivia W. has two mommies and Caden just has a daddy and our neighbor Sophia has two daddies.” 

“Have you ever wondered why you don’t have a daddy? Or two parents?”

“Hmmm,” Emily considers this for a moment as she takes another bite of her chili. “Not really. My teacher tells us that all families are different and that’s okay. Some people have one mommy or one daddy, and some have a mommy and a daddy, and some have two mommies and two daddies, and some people live with their grandma and grandpa, like Zoe from Kindergarten last year. I always tell people my family is my mommy and my Auntie Kaydel and Auntie Jannah.”

Rey smiles again.

“That’s true. We are your family,” Rey says warmly. “But...there is someone else who is part of your family, too.”

Emily tilts her head quizzically. “What do you mean, Mommy?”

“You have...” Rey takes another deep breath, “You have a daddy who really wants to meet you. How would you feel about meeting him?” Rey asks gently.

“A daddy?” Emily echoes, confusion evident in her tone.

“Yes, sweetie, a daddy.”

Emily frowns.

“How come I never met him before?”

“It’s like...do you remember Auntie Kaydel’s friend Jessika?”

“Yeah, Auntie Kaydel said that sometimes things work out and people don’t always stay friends forever.”

“Yes,” Rey replies, nodding, “It’s like that. Your daddy and I stopped being friends for a while, and he didn’t know about you when we stopped being friends. But he is in the orchestra with me, and I told him about you, and he would really like to meet you and be a part of our life,” Rey says, her tone warm and gentle. “How would you feel about that?”

“I think...” Emily pauses for a second and takes another bite of her chili, this time dutifully chewing and swallowing before talking. “I think I would like that,” she says finally. “Is he nice?”

Rey smiles. “He’s very, very nice,” she assures her, “He would like to get ice cream with us. And play Uno.”

“I love Uno!” Emily exclaims. “And ice cream.”

“So is that a yes?”

Emily nods, smiling. 

“That sounds fun,” Emily tells her, but then her expression becomes apprehensive again. “Do you promise he’s nice?” 

Rey holds out her pinky.

“Pinky promise,” she says very seriously.

Emily giggles and wraps her pinky around Rey’s.

“Okay, Mommy. I believe you.”

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

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When they arrive at the ice cream shop, Ben is already there waiting, nervously pacing in circles, but his whole face lights up when he sees Emily and Rey arrive.

Emily grips Rey’s hand tighter, and hides behind her as Ben walks over to them. 

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Rey reassures her, giving her a gentle pat on the head. Emily pokes her head out slowly.

Ben smiles at her and crouches down so he’s closer to her level.

“Hi, Emily. My name is Ben. I’m your dad. And I get nervous when I meet new people, too. I get it.”

Emily pokes her head out a little more, still squeezing Rey’s hand tightly.

“You...you do?”

  
“Definitely,” Ben replies reassuringly, “I’m pretty nervous, too, but your mom tells me you like to play Uno, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to play a round of Uno with me?”

Emily glances up at Rey who smiles encouragingly, and she turns back to Ben.

“Can Mommy play, too?” she asks. 

“Of course,” Ben replies with a grin.

“That sounds fun,” Emily says, offering a shy smile. “And we can still get ice cream, right?”

“Absolutely,” Ben tells her. 

Emily smiles a little bigger. “Good.”

Ben stands up and glances at Rey anxiously, and she smiles at him encouragingly as if to say _you’re doing great_ as they walk over to the counter.  
  


The cashier greets them and Rey turns to Emily.

“What kind of ice cream do you want, sweetie?” she asks her.

“Hmmmmmmm,” Emily starts to say, “May I please have a chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and caramel sauce and marshmallows and M & M’s?”

“Make it kiddie sized,” Rey adds to the cashier. “And I’ll have the same thing, but in a medium size, please.”

“And I’ll just have a small vanilla ice cream please,” Ben chimes in, and both Rey and Emily glare at him.

“Really? Just plain vanilla ice cream?” Rey teases, raising an eyebrow.

“Not even _sprinkles?”_ Emily adds. 

“Yeah, Ben, not even _sprinkles_?” Rey goads.

Ben chuckles, shaking his head slightly.

“I guess I’ll have some chocolate sprinkles on that as well, please,” Ben adds, turning back to the cashier.

“Hmmm, still kind of boring, but it’s a slight improvement, I suppose,” Rey tuts. “Can’t believe I’m dating someone so boring,” she mumbles under her breath with a smirk.

“You love me,” he mumbles back with a smug grin as he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket.

“Yes, I do...even though you _are_ very boring,” she replies teasingly. “Oh, you don’t have to—” Rey starts to say as she sees him taking out his wallet, reaching for her purse.

“No, it’s okay, I’ve got it,” he says softly.

“Thank you.”  
  


“No problem, sweetheart,” he says as he smiles at her, and Rey feels her cheeks reddening from the way he’s looking at her. 

“What are you guys whispering about?” Emily asks, looking up at her parents as Ben pays the cashier.

Rey chuckles. “Nothing, honey,” she replies, smoothing out Emily’s hair.

“Okey dokey, Mommy,” Emily replies.

“I have two chocolate ice creams with rainbow sprinkles and caramel sauce and marshmallows and M & M’s and one small vanilla with chocolate sprinkles,” the ice cream server calls out as she places the ice creams on the counter.

“Thank you,” Rey says as she picks up her ice cream. “What do you say, Ems?” Rey adds as Emily picks up hers. 

  
“Thank youuuuuu,” Emily chirps enthusiastically.

Ben thanks the server and picks up his ice cream, and they all walk over to a booth to sit down together; Emily and Rey sit down on one side and Ben sits opposite of them. 

“Can we play Uno now, pretty pleeeease?” Emily asks, looking up at Rey with pleading eyes.

“Eat your ice cream first so it doesn’t melt, and then we’ll play Uno. Promise,” Rey assures her. 

“Okay, Mommy,” Emily replies with a sigh, sounding slightly disappointed. 

“Do you always order chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and caramel sauce and marshmallows and M & M’s?” Ben asks Emily.

She nods. “It’s the bestest. You should try it sometime, it’s soooo yummy!”

“I’ll definitely have to try it the next time we get ice cream together,” he says with a smile.

“Next time? You want to get ice cream again?” Emily asks before taking a bite of her ice cream.

“Of course. I mean, if you’d like to get ice cream with me again, that is.”

“I think that would be fun,” Emily replies, taking another bite of ice cream, a bit of caramel dripping off the spoon and onto her shirt. “Ooopsie daisy,” she says, looking down at where the caramel spilled.

“Uh-oh,” Rey coos, quickly grabbing a napkin and dabbing at her shirt, “That’s okay, we’ll just wash it when we get home. Just try to be more careful, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.” Emily turns to look at Ben again. “Are the sprinkles yummy?” she asks him.

Ben smiles. 

“They’re very yummy, I’m glad you and your mom convinced me to try them.”

“Sprinkles are _the best,”_ Emily declares with a grin, before shoving another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, finishing off the bowl. “All done! Can we play Uno now? _Pleeeease_ ?” she pleads, turning to Rey.  
  


“Yes, love, but you’ve got chocolate all over your face,” Rey replies, shaking her head slightly as she picks up another napkin and begins to wipe off her daughter’s chocolate covered cheeks, a vaguely annoyed expression plastered to Emily’s face. Rey glances at Ben from the corner of her eye, and he’s watching them with a soft smile and warm eyes, looking at the two of them like they’re his entire world.

“Okay, better,” Rey says once she’s wiped off all the chocolate ice cream and caramel sauce from Emily’s face, “ _Now_ we can play Uno,” she adds as she reaches into her purse and retrieves the deck of Uno cards.

“Yaaaaay!” Emily exclaims, clapping her hands. She turns to Ben. “Do you know how to play Uno?” 

“Yes, I love Uno, actually,” he tells her, and the enthusiasm in his voice sounds genuine.

Emily grins. “Me too,” she replies chipperly.

“Alright, are we ready?” Rey asks.

“Yes, let’s play!” Emily says cheerfully.

Rey deals out the cards, passing out seven to each of them. She sets her free hand down on the table, and Ben gingerly rests his hand on top of hers. She looks up at him and smiles shyly. He returns her smile.

  
Emily, meanwhile, is laser-focused on her cards, sorting them out and lining them up in order.

🎶🎶🎶

Ben is the first to get down to one card.

“You didn’t say ‘Uno’!” Emily exclaims.

“Oh, whoops. Uno!”

Emily shakes her head. “Nope, too late. Now you have to draw five.”

“Five?” he asks skeptically, “I’m pretty sure the rule is two.”

“Nope, it’s definitely five,” Rey retorts.

“Draw five, draw five, draw five!” Emily starts chanting and Rey joins in. “Draw five, draw five, draw five!” they chant together, both grinning widely. 

Ben chuckles and shakes his head.

“It would appear I am outnumbered,” he says as he reaches forward to draw five cards, and Rey and Emily grin even wider, altogether too pleased with themselves.

Emily plays a card, and then Rey’s turn is next. “And _now_ you’re being skipped,” she says to Ben with a self-satisfied smirk as she puts down a ‘skip’ card.

“Wow, seriously? A skip card? Now I feel like I’m being ganged up on,” he mutters as he shakes his head, but he’s smiling.

“The Johnson girls are very serious about Uno, and we play to win, Benjamin, so you will simply have to get used to it,” she retorts, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.

“I think I could definitely get used to this,” he says softly, and she knows he’s not just talking about Uno anymore.

“Ha! Uno!” Emily exclaims as she triumphantly puts down a “Draw 4” card.

Rey gasps in mock horror. “A draw four card? From my own daughter?”

  
  


“Draw four, Mommy! Draw four!” Emily chants, and then Ben joins in, “Draw four! Draw four!” they both exclaim, grinning at each other. 

“Now _I_ feel like I’m being ganged up on,” Rey replies as she picks up four cards, shaking her head while she chuckles.

Ben plays a card, and then it’s Emily’s turn again, and she squeals as she puts down her last remaining card.

“I win! I am the Uno champion!” she declares with a triumphant grin, and then she turns to Rey. “Can we play again, Mommy? Pretty pleeeeease?” she begs, clasping her hands together and looking up at her mother with pleading eyes. 

“I don’t know, honey, it’s a school night,” Rey starts to say.

  
  


“Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Ben chimes in, and Emily giggles. 

Rey rolls her eyes.

“Fine. But only one more game,” she insists.

“Oh, yes, definitely. Just one more game,” Ben agrees, but Rey sees him wink at Emily. 

“Yaaaaay!” Emily squeals with delight. 

As she starts shuffling the cards for the next round and looks at the smiling faces of her daughter and the man she loves, Rey realizes she’s the happiest she’s ever been.

  
She could _definitely_ get used to this.


	17. Chapter 17

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**A few days later**

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	18. 18

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**ONE YEAR LATER**

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* * *

Emily celebrates her seventh birthday surrounded by the people who love her — her mom and dad, her Grandma and Grandpa, her Nonna and Papa, her Aunties Kaydel, Jannah, and Rose, Uncle Armie, and her friends from school. 

When they all sing “Happy Birthday” to Emily, Rey starts tearing up. She remembers her seventh birthday. Like all of her birthdays growing up, she spent it all alone, without so much as a single “Happy Birthday” wish from her foster parents.

All she ever wanted was for Emily to feel loved, and now, surrounded by their big, adoring family, she knows Emily will never be alone. And as she feels Ben rest his hand on her waist, gently pulling her in to place a kiss on top of her head, she knows she will never be alone again, either.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” she hears him murmuring softly. He must have noticed she was crying.

She sniffs, turning to look at him. A smile tugs at her lips. “Yeah, I’m just really, really happy.”

He smiles back at her, and she can see that there are tears in his eyes, too.

“Me, too.”

🎶🎶🎶

When all the guests are gone and Emily’s eyes start getting droopy, Ben scoops her up and carries her to her room with Rey following closely behind.

He sits in the rocking chair in Emily’s room and watches Rey read Emily a bedtime story like she does every night, her eyes lighting up as she tells the story with enthusiasm, doing all the voices, and he’s never been more in love with her. 

And then, of course, there’s Emily, gazing up at Rey with rapt attention, and Ben wonders how it’s possible to love another human being as much as he loves his daughter, or how it’s possible that he somehow loves her more and more every single day. 

Emily’s eyes have drifted shut by the time Rey finishes reading the story, and Rey gingerly sets the book down on her nightstand. She presses a kiss to Emily’s forehead and then very slowly stands up.

“Wait,” Emily says suddenly, her eyes fluttering open again. “Daddy didn’t sing me a lullaby yet.” She sits up, her eyes searching her room for her father.

“I’m right here, princess,” he says softly, walking over and gingerly sitting beside her on her bed.

Emily frowns. “I can’t sleep unless Mommy reads me a story _and_ you sing me a lullaby.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I thought you had already fallen asleep.”

Emily shakes her head. “I told you, Daddy, I can’t sleep unless you sing to me first.”

He smiles at her softly, and then he starts to sing. Emily sighs contentedly, closing her eyes again.

Rey leans in the doorway, watching the man she loves sing a lullaby to their daughter, tears prickling in her eyes again. All she ever wanted was a family of her own, and now she has that. And not just with Ben and Emily, but with Ben’s family, and Kaydel, Jannah, Rose, and Armie, too. 

When he’s sure she’s asleep, Ben kisses Emily’s forehead and tucks her in, and then turns to Rey with tired eyes that are soft and affectionate. He entwines her hand with his own and they go to Rey’s bedroom.

🎶🎶🎶

Ben has been carrying the ring in his pocket for over a month now, and he’s been waiting for the right moment to ask the question. But somehow tonight he just knows he doesn’t want to waste another moment. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with Rey, raising their daughter together. 

He spent so much time feeling unlovable as a teenager, but when he met Rey, he really started to believe for the first time that he deserved to be loved. After he was sent away, he spent years convinced he would be alone forever, but now not only does he have Rey by his side, but he has Rose and Armie and he’s closer to his parents than ever and of course, there’s Emily, and she is the sunshine in his life, and the very best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Rey yawns and stretches her arms over her head. “I’m going to go brush my teeth and wash my face, I’ll be right back,” she says sleepily, standing up on her tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss. But as she pulls away, he grabs her hand and tugs her back to him.

Rey furrows her brows. “What is it?”

And then she gasps when she sees him getting down on one knee, pulling the box out of his pocket and opening it. 

“Ben—”

“Rey Johnson,” he starts to say, and she can see he’s already getting choked up, “You are the music in my life, and I’ve been in love with you from the first moment I heard you perform a flute solo back at Julliard. I want to spend the rest of my life making you and Emily happy and making music together. You are every song and every note and in those years without you in my life, my world had gone silent, but from the moment you swept back in, it has been a symphony, Rey, all because of you. You’ve completely lit up my world, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Will you —” he takes a deep breath, staving off tears, “ — will you marry me?”

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you, Ben,” Rey says as tears pour down her cheeks. Ben takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto her finger, struggling slightly because his hands are shaking. He manages to stand up, and he lets himself cry in earnest as Rey beams at him.

“I love you,” she murmurs as she reaches up to wipe away his tears. “Ben Solo, I love you so much.”

And then his lips are on hers, sealing their promise to each other with a deep and passionate kiss, knowing unequivocally that they will never be alone again.

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

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**A FEW MONTHS LATER**

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**FOUR MONTHS LATER**

**REY & BEN'S WEDDING DAY**

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**EPILOGUE**

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

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**❤️🎶 THE END** 🎶❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [ Twitter!](http://twitter.com/darthswift13)


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